For those who know me, I love Smoking, I smoke all the time, round the clock. Sometimes I smoke when youre not even looking!
My love affair with inhaling the delicious trick, is a double edge sword. How did I come to love Smoking as much as I do? Sit down. Im going to tell you.
I started Smoking in 1989. It was a Cigarette nub I stole out of the woodstove. Thats where my parents dumped their ashtrays, for they too were devotees of the nicotine.
I grew up with Smoking all around me, my parents, my grandparents, everyone smoked!
But anyway I took the nub, went to the bamboo patch in the backyard and lit that baby up with the single match I had found while walking down the main st one day. I sparked it, the flame rose quickly then took to just heat to sear the small particles so delicately wrapped in fancy paper. It was a Bel-Air.
The filter immediately got real hot, and the Smoke entered my Lungs, OW! That Fuckin Hurts! Then ahhh, I was instantly dizzy, I was scared, I had to sit down. I wasnt expecting that, another puff, then worry.....Then the dizziness stopped and that was that.
The pain of the draw was quickly replaced by a high I couldnt imagine, my first experience of self dosed alteration. I was pretty cool, I assumed.
From that one Butt, I was hooked, I began looking for cigarette butts along the streets and hid them in the bushes in a box, for later, for later.
I saw my Sister get caught Smoking by my parents. Her hiding didnt pay off, for they so severely beat her, she ran away, never to return.
I thought I was a pretty good sneaker, I had already learned to hide, keep secrets and all in one Smoke!
In 1989 anyone could buy cigarettes. Underage, overage, anyone, there were cigarette machines all over the place, and Smoking was only beginning to be segregated in restaurants. Sometimes Id go to Antonios Pizza Restaurant to buy cigarettes for my Mother out of that old machine, Not many quarters was all it cost to get a box of Delicious. Having done this enough times,I figured a way to get my first pack of Cigarettes.
I was a collector at the time, and I had an eagle eye. I collected golf balls, stamps, coins, and the like......I decided to collect beer bottles off the street to trade in for quarters. A handful of those and I was sure to get a pack.
I sure did, I bought a box of Marlboro. I smoked like 6 in a row. I was 13 yo, I imagine it must have looked odd that a BOY was Smoking. I got high again. Then I couldnt keep this secret to myself, off to a payphone I called my Friend Shawn at the time to have him bicycle down to meet me for I was also just learning how to pressure others into my illness. He smoked like a pro. We both Smoked! A smoking buddy! We Definitely belonged in a group that no one else could handle. We were Smokin fools! We didnt really have any other friends.
We hid cigarettes under a commercial air conditioner at the Exxon gas station. No eveidence, no proof, no beatings. We would plan to meet to smoke together, and ride bicycles. Very Athletic......
My smoking took off, and beer bottles were plentiful, and the more practice I got the better, I could relate to others at last, instead of the strangers in my home.
Smoking and being what I thought was cool eventually led to hanging out with older people who drank Beer, the two ought never be parted........
22 years later, I dont attract friends with my Smoking, rather they dont desire to be around it. I cant Smoke wherever I damn well please. I dont have to hide my Smoking, but it is becoming more of an annoyance to others. PUFF, PUFF,PUFF! I know a few Smokers, but not many. The taboo of Smoking has reached great heights. The Society at large can be punishing at times in regards to Smoking.
I dont blame Phillip Morris for my Smoking, I picked it up, I could have chosen not to. I am never surprised that I get Bronchitis, Pneumonia, or anything ill wise related to my habit. For me Smoking is much more for me, than just the Smoking itself. I found as a young person a relation, a connection to others, I felt like I was looked as cool, not a brat, not a Family problem, not a skinny kid in school. Of course I am not cool today, not that I ever was. Ahhh, my imagination.......
Nowadays, I pay 9 dollars a box, I frequent the Doctors far more often than my non Smoking friends, and I smell like wet tobacco most all the time. My hands are often cold, and I find that every once in a while I feel a big flutter in my heart, whatever. Im in giant Denial about the consequences of my Smoking.
Smoking has more enduring Power than I can seemingly muster, I am devoted to the Smoke. I will drive in the middle of the cold dark night for a box, I will budget according to my habit over my rent. I will and do Love Smoking, but this, like Booze must be an affair from a distance. I can still love it, but I can also be willing to let it go.
My love affair with inhaling the delicious trick, is a double edge sword. How did I come to love Smoking as much as I do? Sit down. Im going to tell you.
I grew up with Smoking all around me, my parents, my grandparents, everyone smoked!
But anyway I took the nub, went to the bamboo patch in the backyard and lit that baby up with the single match I had found while walking down the main st one day. I sparked it, the flame rose quickly then took to just heat to sear the small particles so delicately wrapped in fancy paper. It was a Bel-Air.
The filter immediately got real hot, and the Smoke entered my Lungs, OW! That Fuckin Hurts! Then ahhh, I was instantly dizzy, I was scared, I had to sit down. I wasnt expecting that, another puff, then worry.....Then the dizziness stopped and that was that.
The pain of the draw was quickly replaced by a high I couldnt imagine, my first experience of self dosed alteration. I was pretty cool, I assumed.
From that one Butt, I was hooked, I began looking for cigarette butts along the streets and hid them in the bushes in a box, for later, for later.
I saw my Sister get caught Smoking by my parents. Her hiding didnt pay off, for they so severely beat her, she ran away, never to return.
I thought I was a pretty good sneaker, I had already learned to hide, keep secrets and all in one Smoke!
I was a collector at the time, and I had an eagle eye. I collected golf balls, stamps, coins, and the like......I decided to collect beer bottles off the street to trade in for quarters. A handful of those and I was sure to get a pack.
I sure did, I bought a box of Marlboro. I smoked like 6 in a row. I was 13 yo, I imagine it must have looked odd that a BOY was Smoking. I got high again. Then I couldnt keep this secret to myself, off to a payphone I called my Friend Shawn at the time to have him bicycle down to meet me for I was also just learning how to pressure others into my illness. He smoked like a pro. We both Smoked! A smoking buddy! We Definitely belonged in a group that no one else could handle. We were Smokin fools! We didnt really have any other friends.
We hid cigarettes under a commercial air conditioner at the Exxon gas station. No eveidence, no proof, no beatings. We would plan to meet to smoke together, and ride bicycles. Very Athletic......
My smoking took off, and beer bottles were plentiful, and the more practice I got the better, I could relate to others at last, instead of the strangers in my home.
Smoking and being what I thought was cool eventually led to hanging out with older people who drank Beer, the two ought never be parted........
22 years later, I dont attract friends with my Smoking, rather they dont desire to be around it. I cant Smoke wherever I damn well please. I dont have to hide my Smoking, but it is becoming more of an annoyance to others. PUFF, PUFF,PUFF! I know a few Smokers, but not many. The taboo of Smoking has reached great heights. The Society at large can be punishing at times in regards to Smoking.
Nowadays, I pay 9 dollars a box, I frequent the Doctors far more often than my non Smoking friends, and I smell like wet tobacco most all the time. My hands are often cold, and I find that every once in a while I feel a big flutter in my heart, whatever. Im in giant Denial about the consequences of my Smoking.
Smoking has more enduring Power than I can seemingly muster, I am devoted to the Smoke. I will drive in the middle of the cold dark night for a box, I will budget according to my habit over my rent. I will and do Love Smoking, but this, like Booze must be an affair from a distance. I can still love it, but I can also be willing to let it go.
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