Tighty Whities.....What was I thinking?

   Hmmmm,



  I went to the store recently as I desired new undergarments.  I typically wear Boxer Briefs, comfortable and cozy for all sake.

   Intent on Change, I looked around, thought to myself what can I try that I havent?  G strings? Nah, with a bony ass, that'll never do, more like putting a rubber band on a stick......
  Sport briefs? No way, a little too gay for me....

    Then, I saw them, re-packaged prolly only worn once then returned, it was on sale, so what , who cares?!  9 Pair of Hanes Brand Tighty Whiteys!   Thats it!, a journey back in time I could relive what it was like to keep all my precious goods, close and cozy.

    I went home with my new purchase all excited, I planned on prancing around and being Free.....Like a dream.

  Quickly, I showered and pulled up a pair of the White cloth made just for me, a Small, 28-30!!!!! Ahhh, Nice and snug, all pulled together I adjusted my package so carefully as to pose, but secretly of course.......Just like a model.

    I relaxed and felt confidence in my Jeans.

 A couple hours later I found myself adjusting myself regularly and wondered.....What? Whats Happening?     They Promised! They Promised!

   I went to the privacy of the bathroom, and pulled my jeans open, one button, two button, TA DA!

   Pure disappointment enveloped me as I discovered one of my jewels was hanging out the left side leg opening, One Ball! Who wants to see one BALL?   Not very attractive.   This isnt what I had bargained for.....

    Then it dawned on me..... I wasnt a pre pubescent boy......I was a man standing in Tighty Whiteys all stretched out, with a ball hangin out.....I thought it was just a manufacturing dilemma....

   So the next day a new way, a new pair, I went about working and the like and AGAIN, the same awful reaction.......Were my balls just scared to be crushed and awaiting escape?   I turned around to see if at least my flat ass looked any different...NO, there wasnt any ass to be found at all....just air filling the seat of these underpants, kinda like a grumpy old mans ass might look like....

  Disappointed and broken by the image I had just seen....I just shook my head and looked downward. It was another sad moment of Body Image.


   In conclusion its the reality that sometimes hurts.....Im 35 yo, my body is as good as its gonna get FOR NOW.    I dont like Tighty Whiteys.   They stretch, they create Saggin Baggins as a dear friend would say....

   So now I have 9 pair of great dusting cloths.........