Snowtime Stories.....

"Oh God, Winter is on its way, and I was wondering, like, How do snowmen multiply without snow women? And how in the world does a Snowman get some? Weird....

Maybe they are attracted by the size of the carrot nose? Scraggly twig arms? Doesn't that feel a bit awkward when being intimate? "Sorry, I left bark in your bed", How embarrassing..... And coal stains on the sheets?~!!!! Gross! I will continue to ponder this until I find the truth......Stay tuned...."
  

How to Kill A Snowman

First you get real MAD because it snowed so effin early, WHAT THE HELL?! Then, you watch and wait, the snow comes, it falls all over the place....Goddammit! Ruined! Ruined the freshly cut lawn is.......I hate you SNOW!

You go to sleep wrapped in a million pounds of blankets cuz you barely had time YET to get the furnace ready, Shithead snow!

You get up, and of course its freezing, this is Bull Ony if you ask me, My feet are like blocks of ice on the hardwood floor-Real Nice...... But then.......You realize....

Youre late for work now cuz you havent made your lunch and you have to go out and start the truck so it warms up! GREAT! Crazy Eyes start to set in..........

You step outside to slip on the first step,Bang,bang,bang down the steps- FucK! OUCH!

Then you see it.....A Snowman! Thats it! First you punch its face right in, and off.... Then you kick its frosty cold ass straight across the lawn....Carrot nose, my ass!

Die Snowman, DIE!